Last week, amidst torrential rain, I had the privilege of leading a workshop for expecting moms at Sugar Hill Creamery in central Harlem. I'm in awe of the attendees braving the elements in their third trimesters to join our session. Together, we delved into addressing anxieties, unraveling their origins, and transforming them into affirmations. While I'm not an advocate for toxic positivity, I do believe that understanding and reframing our anxieties can significantly alleviate their weight.
In these workshops, we exploring creativity as an essential tool for nurturing expecting mothers. During my preparation, I returned to the writing of Julia Cameron, the author of The Artist’s Way, a revered book in creative circles.
Cameron aptly states, "The creative process is a process of surrender, not control... Mystery is at the heart of creativity."
It struck me that this sentiment resonates deeply with the journey of motherhood. Personally, my biggest frustrations in motherhood stem from attempts to control, dictate, or rush my children's behavior. As we collectively acknowledged that many participants' anxieties revolved around relinquishing control, the parallels with creativity became more evident.
Motherhood is an expedition into the unknown—an act of creation and surrender. And while becoming a parent is daunting, it so often results in (chaotic) beauty.
For me, integrating creativity into motherhood has been powerful. (Basically, I have to tell myself, "Molly, stop and smell the roses.") Whether it's indulging my toddler's whims, walking out of our way to see an excavator, or infusing playtime with inventive twists, flexibility and creativity offer some solace within the demands of parenthood. Another perk? Nurturing our creative inclinations enables us to disregard the almost uniformly unrealistic standards espoused on social media.
Surrendering control also helps me cope with moments like this one below, when my kid came home with copious amounts of glittery slime in his hair:
It's definitely not easy for me to let go after years of teaching myself to be in control. But as I continue to explore this intersection, I am increasingly convinced of the transformative power of creativity for me and my children.
Thank you for allowing me to unpack this with you. I hope these reflections resonate with you, offering a little playfulness in the areas of life where uncertainty and anxiety prevail.